


The Error Drabbles

by FYEO1986



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-02
Packaged: 2018-01-14 10:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1262125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FYEO1986/pseuds/FYEO1986
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Started of as a one-shot drabble and spun into a strange little set.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not so peachy keen

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this years ago on FF.net. Finally got wise to this site as well.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but a severely warped sense of reality.

Jareth was pacing and muttering to himself.

"Stupid. Why'd I have to go with a peach? There's dozens of other fruits. Hell, even a mango would have worked. Maybe a kiwi. Yeah, a kiwi woulda worked. Nice and bright, tasty. Or a banana. No, too suggestive. An orange? No, not the same affect. Definitely shoulda gone with the kiwi.

Meanwhile Sarah continued her on her way through the Labyrinth, completely puzzled over Hoggle's joyful reaction when she told him she was allergic to peaches.


	2. Nauseating Chilly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, for this one to make sense you'll need to check out the full lyrics for Chilly Down (With The Fire Gang)at STLYRICS-DOT-COM under Labyrinth, otherwise it's liable to go straight over your head. It's not as good as chapter one, but when I saw my sister's reaction to the lyrics I couln't resist. She looked completely nauseated. smirk

Sarah stared at the insane little orange things surrounding her.

What the hell are these guys on, was the only thought that came to mind as sang and tossed their heads and other assorted body parts about.

As the song continued on Sarah began to get a little green. By the time they reached a line about "Ball playing" she was ready to bolt. The final straw came with the line "Mackin' sex appealing". Sarah whirled around, bolted to the nearest tree, bent over and hurled.

The fierys stopped and stared, completely grossed out.

"Man, lady. You sure know how to kill a buzz." one grumbled.

With those final words they left to find their stash and get their buzz back.

Meanwhile: Jareth sat watching the entire thing through on of his crystals, looking not a little nauseated and once again muttering to himself.

"I need to have a talk with those miscreants about the lyrics to that song. I do wish to keep my Labyrinth PG after all. And the thought of them being sexy is just... disgusting. I am sexy. They have all the sex appeal of a muppet! Yes, have to get them to change that song...

Back in the Labyrinth: Sarah wiped her mouth and looked around, immensely relieved to find no fierys around. One more verse of that song and she would have been begging them to take off her head.


	3. Temp Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: The little blue worm was a temp and didn't catch Sarah before she took the path straight to the castle.

Had it been anywhere else but the Labyrinth, the sight of a man talking to a little blue worm would have been reason enough to call the men in white coats. As it was, it was still slightly unusual for Jareth to have a reason to converse with the little creature.

"You have a very simple job here! Help them get in if they ask, and make sure they don't take the left path. Is that so hard?", Jareth ranted.

"No, your majesty.", came the subdued reply.

"Then tell me why exactly you thought it was a good idea to let your husband sit in for you today?", Jareth bit out.

"Well, your majesty, one of the little ones was down with a nasty bug. My husband just got over it, and we couldn't risk him catching it again, so I stayed in with the children, and he took over for the day."

Jareth felt some of the steam go out of his anger.

"Alright. I can understand if the little one was sick, but from now on either find a good baby-sitter or a decent temp or I'll find a replacement myself!", Jareth warned before vanishing in an amount of glitter that would make a three-year-old proud.

The worm wandered back inside her home and informed her husband of what had happened, which caused him to wonder who would sit on babies and why anyone would want them to.


	4. Closeted Subconscious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I blame this one on my randy younger sister. She just swears up and down that Sarah wanted Jareth to look so feminine (her words) because she was subconsciously in the closet.

Whoever decided that the Labyrinth should change to suit the wisher ought to be taken out and beaten...wait, that was him.

Jareth understood the theory behind it, really he did. It was meant to teach a lesson, and to make it nearly impossible to beat the crazy maze. But he didn't see why the Labyrinth felt the need to extend that theory to his wardrobe.

Unfortunately, it did. And as Jareth stood in his uncomfortable tights, with blue streaks in his hair, he couldn't help but wonder at the orientation of a girl who wanted a man wearing tights, glitter, hair paint, and more eye make-up that a two-dollar hooker.


	5. It's a crystal... and now it's not.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't ya just love bonus features? You can see all sorts of outtakes and get all sorts of ideas.

"Look Sarah, I've brought you a gift."

"What is it?"

"It's a crystal, but if you turn it this..." -CRASH- "SHIT!"

Sarah looked at the shattered crystal on the floor, then back up to the Goblin King.

"Ummm, look. I'll give you your brother back right now if you agree to never tell anyone about this. Deal?"

"Deal."

Jareth snapped his fingers and disappeared, leaving behind one crying baby and one very disillusioned teenager.


	6. Interview with a Jedi Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the next few chapters are turning into crossovers. Let's just say the reasoning behind this involved my twenty-first birthday and an internet recipe for pangalacrtic gargleblasters.

Attention all dimensions, realities, and galaxies- The underground kingdom of the Labyrinth is now hiring. To apply please simply wish yourself into the employment offices with your resumes for interviews. Thank You.

Jareth stared at the small green creature in front of him and smiled a wicked smile.

"Well, your resume is very impressive. All that is needed now is for you to undergo a small test. I need to know if you can handle working with goblins without suffering a mental breakdown. All you will need to do is remain in this room with a few of my more annoying minions for about an hour. Are you ready?"

The little creature nodded.

"All right, then. I'll just send them in."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

When Jareth returned to the room an hour later he found the strangest sight. The little green creature was sitting in the center of the room with the twenty or so goblins he had sent in floating about his head. As Jareth gaped open-mouth at the scene the goblins gently lowered to the floor and ran out of the room in terror.

The little creature took a deep breath, opened his eyes, and spoke for the first time during the interview.

"Come with dental, this job does, yes?"


	7. Hero Complex

"Alright Mr.….Grover, everything seems to be in order. The only thing I found odd is these small periods of unexplained absences. Might I ask what exactly you were doing?

Grover looked the Goblin King up and down.

"Can you keep a secret?" he asked in a dramatic whisper.

Jareth raised an eyebrow but nodded.

"I was busy helping the world as… Super Grover!"

Jareth kept a semi-polite smile on his face as he thanked the little creature and assured him that he would be contacted if a suitable position was found. As soon as he was alone, though, Jareth quickly set the resume in the "no way in hell" pile.

One subject with a hero complex was quite enough.


	8. Magic Dilemma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter everybody. It's been a blast.

"So mister…Potter, it says here you're a quite the wizard."

"I am. Now if you would kindly explain what the hell I am doing here."

Jareth smirked.

"It appears one of your teachers decided you'd look better as a goblin, a Professor Snape I believe."

Harry scowled before leaning back in his chair. He knew, of course, how the Labyrinth worked. They'd covered the subject in third year.

"Is the bastard even going to attempt to get me out of here?"

"Oh he did try; I believe his time ran out while he was busy with a peach."

Harry hesitated a moment before asking, "Do I even want to know what could distract him so well?"

Jareth's smirk intensified as he began to describe a scene involving the potions master, Harry's mother, and a happily ever after that in no way involved James Potter.

In his opinion, Harry made a very satisfying thud as he fainted dead away.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Meanwhile Snape was busy desperately trying to explain to Dumbledore exactly why he'd failed in rescuing the wizarding world's only chance of stopping Voldemort.


End file.
